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Monday, 29 November 2010
2nd suicide case in my area this year. 29/11/10.

Dear God, i pray for everyone who has known of a suicide victim, or at least, know of a suicide case. Be with them, protect them, and shelter them with your love. in Jesus's name i pray, amen.

tonight, 11pm.

dad came in my room, told us someone in our area juz committed suicide. (2nd case this year)

he was driving by, pulling into the carpark when there was a loud boom. he thought someone threw a rock down. then he realised that someone jumped from the block.

he went back down, while i went into the kitchen window, to at least make out what was going on.

sometimes, i wish my aunty would juz shut up. she kept going, "rest in peace, hope the person rest in peace", "why like that, aiyoh"

fuck, if she says another word about this incident again tonight, i'll throw her damn phone out the window.

apparently, the victim is 24, and no one gathered there knew her. her leg is totally out of orientation after the fall, but she was still speaking, and i heard her 'shrieks'.

to be frank, it was mildly amusing. sounded mocking rather than in pain. a very smooth series of hoots. then, "kill me"

i can't get that out of my head.

that's the line that drew it for me. it made me realise that suicide is not a light issue.

previously, i only heard about suicide cases, the stories behind them. but when you hear the victim's actual voice, not in pain, but in angst, something inside you just cracks.

after my dad came back up, while giving me a hug, i juz started shaking. from there, the tears couldn't stop.

no matter how hard life gets, it's never a reason to stop living.

i don't care how cliched this quote is, but "no matter how heavy the rain, there will be a rainbow following after it".

anyway, after praying, i feel a lot better now. the tap has been switched off, but i still don't wanna go to school tomorrow.

before saying "good night", daddy told me not to look at these things, and that i shouldn't be afraid, for i have Jesus with me. first time i felt soo proud of him. (on a side note: he also went back down to give an account of what happened, totally on his own! the police, crowd, and ambulance totally weren't even there yet when he went down again. and he even tried to point out the victim's shoe to the police [the one that flew], but the damn civil servant didn't give a rat's ass about it.)

now i'm thinking, if he doesn't want me to see the pool of blood, body, hear the screams, feel the trauma, then WHY THE FUCK DID HE EVEN TELL ME THAT IT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!

i was happily in my room, at my table, cuddled in my cushy arm chair, squealing over My Girl [which is SUCH an awesome drama, i'm telling you. the 1st ep already got me hooked! soo glad they showed it during jap class one day], when the idiot decided to bust my airheaded, happy Aibaka mode.

it's kinda like the time when i was in primary school, and the news came out about this psychopath who advertised for gay victims online, met them, agreed with them, sexed them, then cut and cooked the guy's penis to share with him. euck!

now that i think of it, that's juz kinda demented in a funny way. the poor criminal muz either be obsessed about blowjobs too much, or had some post-traumatic experience where he was forced by a gay guy to give a blowjob. hence the vengence motive.

right, thinking of Aiba makes me feel better. i think i sense him rising through the ranks. shall go back and watch how adorable he + momoko-chan together = cutest family in all of japanese history.

this post spawned 2 new tags. "demented criminals" and "aiba is a sunshine-rainbow that brightens my mood". ^^

thankyou, CrackADay.

Fieary. 29/11/10.

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when will my dreams be fulfilled??